Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do vagina's smell?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
