I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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