We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
