Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
