Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
