i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
