I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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