Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
