i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
