I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
