After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
is it fun? or sober?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
