how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
jump out the window naked night went bad
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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