i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize