Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
