I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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