so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
