Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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