pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Success! We fucked roommates!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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