I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize