you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We don't watch enough power rangers
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
