You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
