Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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