Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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