Are we in a gay sports bar?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
