Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
