Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
