therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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