The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
