Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
