I hope mine doesn't look like that
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
