Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
