I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
