Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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