I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
