just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
