you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
