see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
