But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wear drunk well.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
