My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
