I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
OPIZZABONMYDICK
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
