she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need to sanitize my soul.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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