too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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