Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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