"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
