Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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