i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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