Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
