we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
