Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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