i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
