The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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