you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
