dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
