I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
