my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
