So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
