Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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