he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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