Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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