I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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