I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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