And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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