It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
