C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
