All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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