how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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