i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
