I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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